Hmmm. What have I complained about? What products have I thumbed my nose at because of an issue? Hmmmm. Oh wait! Wait! I know.
I am personally responsible for the demise of the Microsoft Zune. That’s right I did it. I hated the thing and launched an Internet Social Media Campaign to the drive the nail in the coffin of Zune.
What upset me most was the name. I mean the player worked well enough, but I couldn’t tell if some Frank Hebert fan was trying to be subliminal with me, just got sleepy, and figured, “What the hell Dune, Croon, Macaroon; let’s just call it a Zune somewhere between zoom, Dune, and tune. That’ll definitely be a winner. Can’t lose.”
Anyway, there I was walking through the local Value City (which also closed thanks to me, but I’m bragging now) when I saw this thing. I was bee bopping through the store with my earbuds deeply inserted in my ears, jamming on some Juice Newton tunes from my Walkman Mini-disc player, and I saw the Zune.
“Oh this will never fly,” I said. “It’s as stupid as an IPod. Nothing will ever replace Napster and these handy mini-discs. They’re crazy; plus I hate the name – Zoon.”
I immediately went home, fired up my Wang Computer, typed up a fax cover sheet on Harvard Graphics, cranked out a letter on WordPerfect, faxed it to Microsoft, and finally hunted the corporate site down on Netscape Navigator where I posted my disbelief on a bulletin board. Yeah I told them
I did this over and over again to the point of obsession, or at least ‘till the IMAC came along and I got distracted – that too is a different story.
And the rest of course is history. The only person I know that has a Zoon is Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory.
Okay, okay. Maybe I exaggerate. I did however, boycott Nike running shoes because they were accused of using Chinese child labor, but I wasn’t righteously indignant enough to do anything about, other than buy Saucony, which I suspect are also made by Chinese children. I never told anyone about the Nike thing because no one knew what the internet was back then – everyone thought AOL and Yahoo were some kind of mystical realms.
So shoot me.
No one responded. I suspect they think I’m a stalker.
I should go to confession.