In the past few weeks I have posted and talked to friends about some disappointments I’ve had. I was taken aback by two things; the frequency and ubiquity of similar disappointments and the almost universal acclamation, “You’ve got to keep this in perspective; cancer almost killed you. You survived man, this is nothing compared to that.”
While seemingly reasonable, the more I cogitated on that train of thought, it became apparent that is bollocks; bovine scatology of the highest order. More than that is an affront to all survivors, trying to reintegrate while embracing a new normal.
Following the “keep this in perspective” logic to its ultimate conclusion, it is then okay to constantly give cancer survivors the short end of any opportunity because they are inured to pain and discomfort. I think it goes like this, “We can’t hurt cancer survivors because no pain or indignantly we heap on them will ever equal the pain and indignantly they’ve already endured and therefore anything we do to a survivor is minor and inconsequential. Shouldn’t they just be happy they’re not dead?”
Huh? What? Are you kidding me? NO! NO! NO! That’s not it at all; Christ I hope not.
My ability to have withstood pain, anguish, and survive doesn’t translate into a universal “get out of jail free card” just because the pain being inflicted is less than pain I’ve already experienced. I mean shit (excuse the vulgarity, but it’s the only word that works quite right), that is just crazy, but I really believe that is how people think sometimes.
That’s just what I think today.
Love to all,