Pretty Sure I’m In A Cult

P1070156I think I may be in cult.
Yup – think I am.
We have meetings, pass venerated relics between us, and have secret nods and winks. Oh yeah it’s bad.
Let me explain and you decide.
On the second Saturday of every month it happens.
This past Saturday I got up at about 7:30 and had the first of several cups of the caffeinated holy brew that many of my fellow adherents also embrace. I went with my wife to the local convenience store and drew $20 from the ATM; I do it the second Saturday of every month.
We drove over to Kirk Middle School in Newark Delaware and underneath this small blue tent with no sides, the high priest and several worshippers rifled through boxes of vinyl record albums with the speed of college students from the 70’s.
My ever indulgent wife let me out of the car and then she park it.
There apparently aren’t any women in my cult.
I walked in that brisk style that older guys do – we think we’re hurrying, but not really. Anyway, I too began my scan of the holy record albums with the other older guys. Side conversation ensued about different genres; this day’s topic was Cheech and Chong and what their best album was. I being a Smothers Brothers guy just listened.
I picked out a Steve Miller Band (before the sellout), Al Stewart, and a Grand Funk Railroad.
Just before a 10 another grey haired guy – we were all pretty much grey haired or bald; I think it is a membership requirement – came running (kinda) and said, “Did he bring them out yet.”
“No, not until 10,” another equally grey minion proclaimed.
“Everyone listen to me,” the high priest in a Darks Side of Moon tee-shirt announced. “I will bring out the two boxes and give each of you a handful. When you get your handful you have first choice to buy those records, and then pas them to somebody else.”
All the cult members – me included – nodded, as if in a trance,
The Pink Floyd high priest brought out the boxes and divvied them up between us.
Here they were, The $8 super records (the lesser albums go for $2 to $5). We passed them between us – Allman Brothers (with Duane Allman), REO Speed Wagon, and many others.
I missed getting the Allman Brothers as someone took it first. I took my three albums gave the high priest my $11 and wandered through the flea market to find my bride. I looked back and the men without wives were still hanging out at the little blue tent.
I gave my wife a hug and we walked around.


One thought on “Pretty Sure I’m In A Cult

  1. omg….i was giggling so hard i almost spilled my coffee!! you are so damn funny! i had already voted for you- cuz you are da bomb! and i double checked thinking maybe i could vote again (different day,another vote…..) NO- the stinking thing keeps track apparently to keep things honest; so if you need re-enforcements with the gin and skin tricks, i will step up to the plate. loved your decorating ideas today!! and i may have to do the balls….grapevine balls that is! he#0eehee&e8230;&#823h;


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